Hunting season is open for Medical Cannabis Cultivation Licenses in South Africa and has become somewhat synonymous with hunting for the majestic Unicorn. In the Middle Ages and Renaissance, the Unicorn was commonly described as an extremely wild woodland creature, a symbol of purity and grace, which could be captured only by a virgin.

While some have been making fun of Scotland’s National Animal, there’s been a few sightings of Unicorns along the South of Africa’s Highveld, Bushveld, Lowveld, Great Escarpment, and even in high humidity areas like the East Coast where Unicorns don’t typically perform well when put in a plastic-covered cage and need some dehumidification as life support. Multiple further confirmed sightings have been witnessed around the Cape Wine farms where Unicorns have been seen frolicking between vineyards and mountains.

One thing is for certain, the Unicorns in South Africa have arrived, and is so prolifically distributed across our 9 provinces, that it’s time you consider hunting and training one yourself.

Step 1.  You will need a suitable farm for your Unicorn. Ideally not too close to another Unicorn’s farm, because their pheromones are so strong, it will upset your breeding program.

Step 2. Your Unicorn will need someplace to live and work on your farm, and it needs to be secured from Unicorn meat and horn hunters, as well as making sure your new juvenile Unicorn with few tricks and manners, don’t jump out and run wild in the public space. This operational space will need to be inspected and licensed by the regulator to make sure it’s fit for your Unicorn before you can take it there.

Step 3. Feed your Unicorn only Quality registered products, and everything you feed, do, comb, say to your Unicorn will need to be documented in a Quality Management System running to GACP/ISO:9001. As your Unicorn grows, you will write its rules and guide the Unicorn to help find its majestic self on your farm. Remember, these special Unicorns perform best when drinking water that started its life as filtered and standardised RO.

Step 4. Your Unicorn will poop. That’s good. You will want it to look all glittery and sparkly. The more shine, the more dime. These crystals are what make Unicorn poop so valuable and you will master the gift of feeding and taking care to cater to your Unicorn in a radiant way. Remember to wear gloves while handling Unicorn poop so as to not contaminate the crystals. Unicorn poop needs to be sent to the lab for testing to make sure there is nothing else in there like human feces, e.coli, heavy metals etc and you need to know how strong your Unicorn poop is, and what flavour profile it presents.

Step 5. Sell your Unicorn poop to the highest bidder.

Remember that hunting a Unicorn is only part of the responsibility. You need to take care of it, feed, and nurture it once you’ve taken hold of one, and need to forever strive to bring Quality Unicorn poop to the International market.

If you need help during any part of your Unicorn Hunting & Training Program, you will need to enlist the help of a professional Unicorn whisperer that will make your Unicorn fit for license inspection to ensure your farm’s successful operation.

Summon the Unicorn Whisperer

 

* We couldn’t confirm if these African Unicorns were captured by Virgins at the time of publication.